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by Doug Leland
Fuel for your business
No one goes to sea without understanding the nautical “rules of the road”—at
least not if you intend to reach your destination and to do so without causing
harm to yourself or to others.
What is your destination this year? Where is your business headed, your
relationships, your personal life? Will you be able to get there quickly and
safely? What are your rules of the road for navigating the New Year? What about the
rest of your life?
Setting course
There are some simple truths for navigating life, but the ones that will most
support you on your journey are the ones you personally discover and choose to
apply to your professional and personal pursuits. It takes but an hour or two a
week to identify the coordinates of your destination, set your course, and make
sail with confidence that your rules of the road—your reference points for
navigating life—will see you successfully to your destination.
Recently I was reminiscing about a past chapter in my life—one written many,
many years ago and one that represented a very low point. Upon reflection, I
realized that many, if not all, of life's lessons were offered to me during that
brief period. Unfortunately, like most people, I failed to see many of the lesson's
until years later.
Rule #1—“You gather knowledge by moving forward...you gain wisdom by stepping back.”
Your business and career will only succeed by taking steps forward, but it is
the wisdom gained through honest reflection that ensures you take the right
steps. Reflection is necessary and so often all we do is keep moving forward, wondering why our destination seems to keep getting further away.
Rule #2—“Maintain your balance or prepare to
fall.”
I doubt if there are very many gymnasts who would disagree with this rule.
Either you are on the balance beam or you are off; either your ship is on an
even keel or it is not. You cannot be your best for others if you do not first
take care of yourself. Though at first it may seem selfish, maintaining your own
energy level is a requirement for staying focused and preventing regrets from
the past or anxieties of the future from stealing the opportunities presently in
front of you.
Rule #3—“Gratitude is life's tipping point.”
There will always be times when our businesses, careers and relationships are
not where we would like them to be. There will always be low points. The tipping
point—the fulcrum that determines whether you are headed up or down is your
degree of gratitude. Focusing on what you have, rather than on what others have
or you do not have, leads to thankfulness and appreciation. This quickly leads
to acceptance of self and acceptance of others, from which the closed loop of
giving and receiving is fueled. Learning to give and receive will provide all
the energy you need to reach your destination.
Rule #4—“The most direct course between where you
are and where you want to go, is the truth.”
Truth is much more than honesty with facts. Truth is the absence of deception.
The business world is rife with examples where this rule has been violated,
causing untold harm. An even greater challenge, however, is the degree of
truthfulness we encounter each day when we converse with the “person” in the
mirror. When this conversation is free of deception, our outward actions will
take us on a direct course to our destination. Nothing is more difficult than
being absolutely honest with ourselves . . . and nothing is more critical to
reaching our goals and objectives in an expeditious, satisfying and fulfilling
manner.
Only the beginning
These are only the first four of my “rules of the road” I discovered when I took
time to step back. How difficult is it to discover your own rules of the road
for navigating life, your own reference points for reframing and refining all of
your daily activities, initiatives and experiences? Not very. All it takes is
a little time each week and a bit of patience—and soon you'll be on your
way to discovering your personal set
of “rules of the road” for navigating the
New Year and every year thereafter.
Two simple exercises
You'll find my remaining six rules listed in Fuel cells
along with a couple of exercises designed to help you make sense of where you
have been, where you are going, and how you are going to get there. Remember,
however, that these are my rules. The rules that really count are your
rules—the ones you discover for yourself.
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Fuel cells
Doug's Rules of the Road for Navigating Life
- You gather knowledge by moving forward...you gain wisdom by stepping
back.
- Maintain your balance or prepare to fall.
- Gratitude is life's tipping point.
- The most direct course between where you are and where you want to go,
is the truth.
- Strength is gained through vulnerability.
- Legacies are lived, not created.
- Struggle is an invitation to learn...a doorway to opportunity.
- Anything is possible.
- Live each day as if it is your first.
- Your true greatness is revealed only through service to others.
Exercise 1—“Seeing Through the Fog”
Set aside one hour each week. This should be time you can dedicate to this
exercise without distraction. At your computer, or with pen and paper, identify
a subject that is immediately top-of-mind. Several items may surface—some
dating far back in time, others as recent as the phone call you just completed.
Once you've identified the topic that is truly top-of-mind, start writing about
it. Do so for an hour and stop. There is no need to structure your thoughts,
reach a definitive conclusion or prove a point; simply write what comes to mind.
Truthfulness is the key—a conversation with yourself that is absent deception.
Once finished, title your topic and place it in your archives. The following
week do another, and then one each week thereafter. In six months you will have
26 chapters—more than two dozen truthful conversations with yourself about
things of importance. Most of these conversations will weave your past
experiences, future concerns, and current opportunities. After six months, ask yourself,
“What are my rules of the road for navigating life?” and then reread
what you wrote. Your “rules” will be revealed to you.
Exercise 2—“Staying on an Even Keel”
Maintaining a balanced life is critically important to creating an environment
conducive to identifying and learning from life's lessons. Remember, your mind
can only be in one place at a time, so if your life is out of balance you are
spending too much time consumed by the baggage of the past or unnecessary
worries about things yet to happen that probably won't happen. The present is
the only place where you can make decisions or take actions that can positively
influence the future. Balance can help you move forward with clarity and
confidence. How do you maintain or regain your balance? One place to start is
with the
Balance Beam tool, which you can download
at my Web site.
Read the instructions and give it your best shot for a month. After your first
month, identify what changes you want to make, refine your lists if necessary
and start anew the next month. Repeat again for month three. If it's been awhile
since you've given yourself permission to do some of these activities, it may
well take three months before you begin to get comfortable with your new
routine. Your awareness will begin to increase and you will begin to feel your
life changing. As an added bonus, you may want to capture in writing some of the
changes you experience (see exercise 1).
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Fuel for your soul
Consider these words of wisdom:
“The Vietnamese Buddhist monk and philosopher, Thich Nhat Hanh,
writes about enjoying a good cup of tea. 'You must be completely awake
in the present to enjoy tea. Only in the awareness of the present can
your hands feel the pleasant warmth of the cup. Only in the present can
you savor the aroma, taste the sweetness, appreciate the delicacy. If
you are ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, you will
completely miss the experience of enjoying the cup of tea. You will look
down at the cup and the tea will be gone.' Life is like that. If you are
not fully present, you will look around and it will be gone. You will
have missed the feel, the aroma, the delicacy and beauty of life. It
will seem to be speeding past you. The past is finished. Learn from it
and let it go. The future is not even here yet. Plan for it, but do not
waste your time worrying about it. Worrying is worthless. When you stop
ruminating about what has already happened, when you stop worrying about
what might never happen, then you will be in the present moment. Then
you begin to experience joy in life.”
– Brian Weiss, MD
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